"That's why I wanted to be pregnant in the winter"
ARH. What is it with people??? I have this "friend" who knows ALL about our "issues" but yet is apparently oblivious as to why this could impact my life or something. I don't know WHAT it is - but it's driving me CRAZY.
She's pregnant. Of course she is... a million things bug me - just like she doesn't believe in high risk pregnancies for example. Oh, you're right - drs know NOTHING about anything. ARH. Refuses ultrasound (which is PERFECTLY fine) and thinks that women are crazy to have the FOUR typical ultrasounds they get. WHAT? who gets 4 ultrasounds "typically"? nobody. Sure, it happens when something is wrong or there's concern - but by default women don't get 4 ultrasounds while pregnant. Oh - but you can't argue with her, because she knows everything. Yeah - the fact that this crap has been my life for the past 2 years means NOTHING i'm not pregnant after all.
Today's episode... First, she's in a bad mood - but she's sick, so it's fully understandable. I said "goodness, this baby is playing a number on you..." and she gets defensive "it has nothing to do with the baby - my husband is sick, he gave it to me." this woman is NEVER sick... and I just said "yeah, but you were more likely to get sick cause you're pregnant..." (obviously - again, she's never sick... this is her 2nd cold this pregnancy...) NO - i know NOTHING. She's ONLY sick cause her husband made her sick. FINE. I know nothing.
Second - we were talking about maternity clothes and i said she was lucky to be pg just now - because she could still fit in normal clothes for christmas - even if she'd have to buy something new, it wouldn't have to be maternity clothes for the holidays... which means cheaper... "yes, this is why i wanted to be pregnant over the winter" to which i felt like replying (but dind't!) "yes, well, we can't be all as lucky as you and just decide when we'll get pregnant now can we?!?!?!"
I guess her comment wasn't that bad - BUT she knows damn well we're praying we can get pregnant PERIOD. I guess what bugs me the most is that I decided to share this incredibly difficult period/journey in our life - and I seriously regret it everyday... it sucks.
on an even more negative note - my mom called last night to tell me that Grandma found a lump in her breast - and she's meeting with the surgeon today - and will have it removed before christmas. I'm TERRIFIED that it's cancer. Terrified. I cry thinking about it. And I can't help but think that i jinxed it. I keep saying I cannot handle something bad happening... and bam - something bad is potentially happening. I've also said a few times how I think it would have been stressful to be around my family while my other grandmother died of cancer.... Strike 2 - second jinx maybe? I don't know. I just NEED her (for my selfish self) to be fine. I need them to come out and say "oh goodness, we over reacted and we didn't even need to rush!" :)
She's pregnant. Of course she is... a million things bug me - just like she doesn't believe in high risk pregnancies for example. Oh, you're right - drs know NOTHING about anything. ARH. Refuses ultrasound (which is PERFECTLY fine) and thinks that women are crazy to have the FOUR typical ultrasounds they get. WHAT? who gets 4 ultrasounds "typically"? nobody. Sure, it happens when something is wrong or there's concern - but by default women don't get 4 ultrasounds while pregnant. Oh - but you can't argue with her, because she knows everything. Yeah - the fact that this crap has been my life for the past 2 years means NOTHING i'm not pregnant after all.
Today's episode... First, she's in a bad mood - but she's sick, so it's fully understandable. I said "goodness, this baby is playing a number on you..." and she gets defensive "it has nothing to do with the baby - my husband is sick, he gave it to me." this woman is NEVER sick... and I just said "yeah, but you were more likely to get sick cause you're pregnant..." (obviously - again, she's never sick... this is her 2nd cold this pregnancy...) NO - i know NOTHING. She's ONLY sick cause her husband made her sick. FINE. I know nothing.
Second - we were talking about maternity clothes and i said she was lucky to be pg just now - because she could still fit in normal clothes for christmas - even if she'd have to buy something new, it wouldn't have to be maternity clothes for the holidays... which means cheaper... "yes, this is why i wanted to be pregnant over the winter" to which i felt like replying (but dind't!) "yes, well, we can't be all as lucky as you and just decide when we'll get pregnant now can we?!?!?!"
I guess her comment wasn't that bad - BUT she knows damn well we're praying we can get pregnant PERIOD. I guess what bugs me the most is that I decided to share this incredibly difficult period/journey in our life - and I seriously regret it everyday... it sucks.
on an even more negative note - my mom called last night to tell me that Grandma found a lump in her breast - and she's meeting with the surgeon today - and will have it removed before christmas. I'm TERRIFIED that it's cancer. Terrified. I cry thinking about it. And I can't help but think that i jinxed it. I keep saying I cannot handle something bad happening... and bam - something bad is potentially happening. I've also said a few times how I think it would have been stressful to be around my family while my other grandmother died of cancer.... Strike 2 - second jinx maybe? I don't know. I just NEED her (for my selfish self) to be fine. I need them to come out and say "oh goodness, we over reacted and we didn't even need to rush!" :)
posted by Winnifred at 2:53 PM
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