Weird mood....
I'm in a weird mood - mostly bad... this SUCKS SOOOO BAD. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have ZERO desire to go out (which I have to do in about an hour!) - but yet i have zero desire to stay home.
it's not supposed to be like this.
I have lots of work to do - i pilled it up so that I wouldn't be sitting at home doing nothing while I was on leave from my day job... I'm off in total for 3 weeks - and... at the rate i'm going I will have nothing done... which means then i'll have to do all the work I have to do at night. After my day job. And that's the part I HATE about having my own business... the never ending hours. So this was an amazing "boost" of hours - but turns out I'm apparently useless.
I have an overwhelming feeling that we're NOT pregnant - and I don't know why. I really honestly do NOT know either way... maybe it's from reading so many BFN lately from others... not sure. I think my DH is "positive" we ARE - which is great if we are, but it bugs me - because we might not be.
I will POAS the day before my BETA i decided. That will give me nearly a week to wrap my head around whatever the results are before having to go back to work.
Today is 7dp3dt. at 12dp3dt - I should have a good idea, right?
On a seperate note, I'm going to see a friend this afternoon and deliver her maternity photographs (the proofs from a session) they're great... it's their third and she looks amazing. It'll be a nice "retreat" today - but I'm nearly positive I'll get home and i'll be in the same weird mood again. I went to sleep in that mood - and unfortunately woke up in the same mood... that's when i know it's pretty bad.
Oh - and... I'm supposed to photograph this same friend's birth - should be over the next week sometime. I wonder if I can, emotionally. She's ready for me to say "no - i can't" but I really want to do this - and she really wants me to do this as well. I'm wondering if I can handle it emotionally/physically. I'm "taking it easy" and a birth is NOTHING BUT. I'm also terrified of seeing a close friend in labour - cause i'm going to feel SO useless... Can I handle the stress? Would you handle it?
it's not supposed to be like this.
I have lots of work to do - i pilled it up so that I wouldn't be sitting at home doing nothing while I was on leave from my day job... I'm off in total for 3 weeks - and... at the rate i'm going I will have nothing done... which means then i'll have to do all the work I have to do at night. After my day job. And that's the part I HATE about having my own business... the never ending hours. So this was an amazing "boost" of hours - but turns out I'm apparently useless.
I have an overwhelming feeling that we're NOT pregnant - and I don't know why. I really honestly do NOT know either way... maybe it's from reading so many BFN lately from others... not sure. I think my DH is "positive" we ARE - which is great if we are, but it bugs me - because we might not be.
I will POAS the day before my BETA i decided. That will give me nearly a week to wrap my head around whatever the results are before having to go back to work.
Today is 7dp3dt. at 12dp3dt - I should have a good idea, right?
On a seperate note, I'm going to see a friend this afternoon and deliver her maternity photographs (the proofs from a session) they're great... it's their third and she looks amazing. It'll be a nice "retreat" today - but I'm nearly positive I'll get home and i'll be in the same weird mood again. I went to sleep in that mood - and unfortunately woke up in the same mood... that's when i know it's pretty bad.
Oh - and... I'm supposed to photograph this same friend's birth - should be over the next week sometime. I wonder if I can, emotionally. She's ready for me to say "no - i can't" but I really want to do this - and she really wants me to do this as well. I'm wondering if I can handle it emotionally/physically. I'm "taking it easy" and a birth is NOTHING BUT. I'm also terrified of seeing a close friend in labour - cause i'm going to feel SO useless... Can I handle the stress? Would you handle it?
posted by Winnifred at 8:48 AM
4 Comments:
I am not sure how I would handle it. I would like to think I would be excited to be involved but that's a hard one. You could either be very happy or very sad a week from now. Do what's best for you.
I am sorry that you are not feeling better right now. Everybody says that the 2ww is the worst part so I wouldn't beat yourself up about not getting much work done.
I'm thinking about you and sending all the good vibes your way that I can.
The BFN's in blog world have been making me sad too. Dammit, it should work for everybody!
Weird moods come with the territory I suppose. How can you be anything else but restless?
With regard to the photographing job, you should do what feels right to you.
I would not be able to do it, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't. We're all a bit different in how we handle it.
Biting my nails over here. Need an update, Sugar!
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