"I hope you have a strong marriage"
My MIL says this to me everytime we talk about infertility. WHY??? It's bugging the CRAP out of me. Once, maybe - but everytime is driving me crazy. And it's a lot about how she says it... almost like "this will make you two split up - unless you have a strong marriage."
I'm married to her SON. What does she expect me to say?
"no, we can't stand each other and we call each other names all the time." (which is far from being the truth!!)
I LOVE my husband - and yes, we happen to have a strong marriage. BUT... please, STAY OUT OF IT. We treat each other well - and have NEVER EVER let anybody think otherwise... nobody could ever wonder from seeing us together if we "treat each other well" we have always done nothing but. Everytime she brings it up I have this nagging feeling...
"does she know something I don't?"
"did my dh lead her to believe that we don't?" (of course he would never!)
"does she think that I'm going to leave him cause we're dealing MFI?" (that's absolutely absurd - but i swear her comments make me wonder what the heck she's thinking...)
And... maybe she only means "i hope you have a strong marriage" but for goodness sake - STOP ASKING.... I'm NOT about to say "well, actually - now that you mention it........ "
Anybody else find this weird/anoying? or am i just weird?
I'm married to her SON. What does she expect me to say?
"no, we can't stand each other and we call each other names all the time." (which is far from being the truth!!)
I LOVE my husband - and yes, we happen to have a strong marriage. BUT... please, STAY OUT OF IT. We treat each other well - and have NEVER EVER let anybody think otherwise... nobody could ever wonder from seeing us together if we "treat each other well" we have always done nothing but. Everytime she brings it up I have this nagging feeling...
"does she know something I don't?"
"did my dh lead her to believe that we don't?" (of course he would never!)
"does she think that I'm going to leave him cause we're dealing MFI?" (that's absolutely absurd - but i swear her comments make me wonder what the heck she's thinking...)
And... maybe she only means "i hope you have a strong marriage" but for goodness sake - STOP ASKING.... I'm NOT about to say "well, actually - now that you mention it........ "
Anybody else find this weird/anoying? or am i just weird?
posted by Winnifred at 3:40 PM
3 Comments:
It all depends on the tone, I guess, but I can imagine that you find this annoying.
Perhaps she is looking for reassurance that you won't split up over this. Probably, the fact that the root of the problem lies with her son makes her feel he's in a vulnerable position. I'm just speculating.
Did you read ladybug Ann's post where here in-laws worried that "one of them was IF". One of them?!
Your MIL knows her son is "the IF one", so to speak. Even though of course this is something that affects both of you.
Maybe it just a MIL thing. You know how they get with their darling sons sometimes.
Thanks girls... Lut - i had not seen that post - thanks for linking it.
Maybe it's reasurance she needs... it's just getting old i guess.
Before we got dx - before she even really knew anything - she told my dh once "maybe it's YOU" in a way that ment "don't assume it's your wife's problem" when really - we had never assumed anything... it was hurtful and rude - but it was her way i guess of saying "these aren't always women problems" and it was her way of saying that to her son - i don't know - but it was rude. and she's SO not rude... anyways... I guess it's hard for them to deal with all this..... but she should realize that there are some things i'm going to keep to myself... and sure, if she thought something was "wrong" with our relationship - but again, if she thinks that, she's fabricated it!!
thanks again for the replies!
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