Sharing with the world....
Ok - i'm 12w3d... and we're sharing. We had to - i'm seriously popping and it was embarassing to walk around work cause i felt weird. i always wanted to hide. Now - i can finally wear "whatever" i want and not care. Not everybody knows - but the word is out and before I know it everybody will!
One thing I hadn't anticipated.... how WEIRD it feels to tell people who know nothing of our situation. I almost feel like i'm lying. "Yes, i'm pregnant - but you should know I got help." I know that SOUNDS absolutely rediculous - even to me it sounds stupid... but I've been sharing and I feel WEIRD. Maybe mostly because i'm often ask "do twins run in your family?" and the first time somebody asked i was stunned and then i realized it was the first person who didn't know about IVF. "um no, in fact it's cause there were 2 embryos so my odds were quite high." Um... no, i didn't say that!! I just smile and say "we have id twins in my family - but that's not hereditary..." and then I can't stop thinking of my twin cousin who lost his brother... and how my aunt will "react" to the news. Obviously - she'll be fine with it! I just mean it's going to be different for her than anybody else... arh.
Other than that - we saw the high risk ob yesterday who decided to keep us high risk because of the bleeding episode. There's also blood around one of the placentas which could be a problem - and we're "more at risk" of miscarriage which of course STRESSED ME OUT... but then again - it's his job. I know of MANY who have had this and went on to deliver beautiful babies... actually - i've yet to have found a negative story (although i'm positive they're out there). Anyways - I have another u/s and high risk ob appointment in 4 weeks and they'll decide then if i'm still high risk or not! I really liked the clinic and all the staff was great - so that's an added bonus!!
The babies were dancing around like crazy!! it was AMAZING. when i had my emergency u/s on saturday they weren't moving much at ALL... but i'm wondering if maybe that's because I had been stressed for 24+ hours... who knows. I'll scan and perhaps post a photo!
Yesterday during and following the appointment I had that feeling of "everything is perfect right now". The feeling I had for WEEKS after I got engagged... I was SO happy - beyond words happy when i got engagged... I was floating - something i had never imagined feeling. I had been looking for THAT feeling about the pregnancy - and FINALLY - i got it yesterday. Unfortunatly there's a whole lot more worries being pregnant than being engagged - so the feeling didn't last. BUT at least I felt it.
For some reason yesterday afternoon/evening I was SERIOUSLY hormonal. I wish we had warnings. I felt HORRIBLE - hated myself and worse: went to bed in a bad mood, and woke up in the same bad mood. ARH. I KNOW that's just part of pregnancy - but i'm used to a little bit more control!! And I'm still tired beyond belief - i'm starting to expect the "you're anemic" news at any moment... I mean i don't really think i'm anemic - but this can't be normal... can it??
12w3d pregnant and exhausted beyond belief!
One thing I hadn't anticipated.... how WEIRD it feels to tell people who know nothing of our situation. I almost feel like i'm lying. "Yes, i'm pregnant - but you should know I got help." I know that SOUNDS absolutely rediculous - even to me it sounds stupid... but I've been sharing and I feel WEIRD. Maybe mostly because i'm often ask "do twins run in your family?" and the first time somebody asked i was stunned and then i realized it was the first person who didn't know about IVF. "um no, in fact it's cause there were 2 embryos so my odds were quite high." Um... no, i didn't say that!! I just smile and say "we have id twins in my family - but that's not hereditary..." and then I can't stop thinking of my twin cousin who lost his brother... and how my aunt will "react" to the news. Obviously - she'll be fine with it! I just mean it's going to be different for her than anybody else... arh.
Other than that - we saw the high risk ob yesterday who decided to keep us high risk because of the bleeding episode. There's also blood around one of the placentas which could be a problem - and we're "more at risk" of miscarriage which of course STRESSED ME OUT... but then again - it's his job. I know of MANY who have had this and went on to deliver beautiful babies... actually - i've yet to have found a negative story (although i'm positive they're out there). Anyways - I have another u/s and high risk ob appointment in 4 weeks and they'll decide then if i'm still high risk or not! I really liked the clinic and all the staff was great - so that's an added bonus!!
The babies were dancing around like crazy!! it was AMAZING. when i had my emergency u/s on saturday they weren't moving much at ALL... but i'm wondering if maybe that's because I had been stressed for 24+ hours... who knows. I'll scan and perhaps post a photo!
Yesterday during and following the appointment I had that feeling of "everything is perfect right now". The feeling I had for WEEKS after I got engagged... I was SO happy - beyond words happy when i got engagged... I was floating - something i had never imagined feeling. I had been looking for THAT feeling about the pregnancy - and FINALLY - i got it yesterday. Unfortunatly there's a whole lot more worries being pregnant than being engagged - so the feeling didn't last. BUT at least I felt it.
For some reason yesterday afternoon/evening I was SERIOUSLY hormonal. I wish we had warnings. I felt HORRIBLE - hated myself and worse: went to bed in a bad mood, and woke up in the same bad mood. ARH. I KNOW that's just part of pregnancy - but i'm used to a little bit more control!! And I'm still tired beyond belief - i'm starting to expect the "you're anemic" news at any moment... I mean i don't really think i'm anemic - but this can't be normal... can it??
12w3d pregnant and exhausted beyond belief!
posted by Winnifred at 1:43 PM
7 Comments:
What you came over and said did make me feel better. You were the first IVF positive blogger I followed, I think of your success often. M mom is a twin so if I am lucky enough to have them, everybody will assume that is why.
It must be great to tell people. It sounds like your doctor is being causitous which is never a bad thing. Is the morning sickness subsiding at all?
Congratulations! You deserve to be able to finally feel good (mentally) about being pregnant. Physically, I understand, is another issue altogether. :-)
I can also understand the awkardness with wanting to tell people why it's twins, but frankly it's none of their business how 2 little ones got in there!
I hope you are feeling better (nausea-wise) soon. Enjoy the "telling" since that only comes once for this pregnancy!!!
Congratulations on your pregnancy :)
It must be great to share your wonderful news. Glad things are going well.
How exciting to finally get to tell people!! I am so happy for you! I hope everything continues to go smoothly.
It must feel really good to share this wonderful news to everyone! I am so happy for you. Enjoy this moment.
Your babies may not always be dancing around as much when you get an U/S...remember they sleep a lot. You moving around all day pretty much rocks them to sleep. Just wait until they get bigger...as soon as you stop moving at the end of the they'll start dancing.
My exhaustion subsided fairly quickly into the 2nd trimester, but with you having twins it may be a little worse.
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