Needles. Brown bag full.
Ok... So I have now officially given myself a shot. Sure, it was just water and only a drop - but still. I DID IT.
And i'm proud to say - it was nothing. Border line proud. I didn't think I could do it. I've been dreading this for a long time. I thought my dh would have to do them. All of them. It's NOTHING. So i'm proud to say "it's nothing" but at the same time almost embarassed that i made such a big deal about it! So if anybody's reading this - and you think you can't do it - I ASSURE YOU, IT'S FEASIBLE!! (granted i'm not terrified of needles, i just didn't think i could get myself to give MYSELF shot. If you're in that situation - i'm telling you YOU CAN! it's nothing. If you'e terrified, obviously - i can't predict how you'll do!)
So now i have my full calendar.
BCP until Jan. 30th.
Start Buserelin on Jan. 27th.
Ultrasounds on Feb. 9th, 14th & 17th.
Start Puregon on Feb. 9th.
Retrieval/Transfer week of Feb. 20th.
This time, I have higher hopes. I'm glad i'm now in the 60-65% chance of success. That means that 6 out of 10 women get pregnant. I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE WOMEN, right? I keep thinking about the fact that my family is ultra fertile. I come from a huge family - and my grandparents were quite fertile! Some of my cousins are almost too fertile. THIS will help me at the end of Feb, right? The embryos we'll have WILL STICK.
I WILL become pregnant. Maybe even with twins? Ok - that's not necessary... :) One will do.
We also got our "total $" at the clinic yesterday. Oh how I pray this works. Oh how I pray that we get lucky enough to be able to do a frozen cycle in the future. How I pray that my dh never has to do his surgery again. How I pray that we will be able to afford to have the # of children that we want. I do NOT want our bank account to dictate that. I do NOT want to change the course of my life for this. I do not want to have to work hours on end to manage this, when what I want most is to be able to raise my children. If it means working too many hours and hardly seeing my children - then, seriously, what's the point? I understand "doing what needs to be done" - but I don't want to wake up when it's too late and realized that IF completely changed my life. Sure, it changed HOW we would create our family - obviously. But i need more than anything for that to be it.
I just want a baby. or two.
And i'm proud to say - it was nothing. Border line proud. I didn't think I could do it. I've been dreading this for a long time. I thought my dh would have to do them. All of them. It's NOTHING. So i'm proud to say "it's nothing" but at the same time almost embarassed that i made such a big deal about it! So if anybody's reading this - and you think you can't do it - I ASSURE YOU, IT'S FEASIBLE!! (granted i'm not terrified of needles, i just didn't think i could get myself to give MYSELF shot. If you're in that situation - i'm telling you YOU CAN! it's nothing. If you'e terrified, obviously - i can't predict how you'll do!)
So now i have my full calendar.
BCP until Jan. 30th.
Start Buserelin on Jan. 27th.
Ultrasounds on Feb. 9th, 14th & 17th.
Start Puregon on Feb. 9th.
Retrieval/Transfer week of Feb. 20th.
This time, I have higher hopes. I'm glad i'm now in the 60-65% chance of success. That means that 6 out of 10 women get pregnant. I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE WOMEN, right? I keep thinking about the fact that my family is ultra fertile. I come from a huge family - and my grandparents were quite fertile! Some of my cousins are almost too fertile. THIS will help me at the end of Feb, right? The embryos we'll have WILL STICK.
I WILL become pregnant. Maybe even with twins? Ok - that's not necessary... :) One will do.
We also got our "total $" at the clinic yesterday. Oh how I pray this works. Oh how I pray that we get lucky enough to be able to do a frozen cycle in the future. How I pray that my dh never has to do his surgery again. How I pray that we will be able to afford to have the # of children that we want. I do NOT want our bank account to dictate that. I do NOT want to change the course of my life for this. I do not want to have to work hours on end to manage this, when what I want most is to be able to raise my children. If it means working too many hours and hardly seeing my children - then, seriously, what's the point? I understand "doing what needs to be done" - but I don't want to wake up when it's too late and realized that IF completely changed my life. Sure, it changed HOW we would create our family - obviously. But i need more than anything for that to be it.
I just want a baby. or two.
posted by Winnifred at 9:49 AM
5 Comments:
I think we are all scared of what IF will do to our lives!
Good job on giving yourself a needle. I am scared like you were so hopefully you are right, I can do it too.
A baby for Christmas - would that be the best! Crossing my fingers for you!
Hi, found your blog through Jenny. Yay on giving yourself a shot. The first is always the hardest. I'm currently on day 5 of stims. I know how hard things have been and can relate to your fears. It's great that you got your calendar. It always seems more real to me when I know when things will start. Much luck to you!
Hey. I was scared to death of giving myself shots...but my DH travels a lot for business, so i had to do it. He coached me...I did one with him there to support me. Then, when he was gone the next night, I felt like I knew what I was doing. I have even given myslef PIO shots and those really suck. One more hurdle! I'm proud of you!
I'm not jealous of the needles. But good for you on learning to do the shots. Independance!
Well done on the shot. I think in your situation, being so young, your chances of a successful cyle will be really high. In my case, I'm a little older so both egg and sperm factors play into it meaning less success.
Post a Comment
<< Home