19 weeks.

it's still surreal. I know - it must be getting old to hear me say that - but it's the truth.

I bought my dh 2 ottawa senators jerseys (home + away) for the babies... they're size 12 months - so i figure they might kind of fit by the playoffs next year! ha!HA! He loved them... he said "wont they look cute coming home from the hospital in those...!" Um... i think not! HA!HA! (yes, he was kidding!)

My best friend had a baby girl this week-end :) She thought she was having another boy :) (intuition - not u/s or anything!) I'm SO happy for them - labour was a breeze and the baby girl is in perfect health :) I got to see her yesterday - just over 48 hours old... I have no idea how i'll handle 2!! My friend has been having many melt downs since giving birth (she had a lot after her first as well!) and in one of them she said "how is A. going to do this with TWO?!" ah!HA! :) i'll survive...!!

I also visited another friend that has a 3+ month old (the baby that was born on the day of my BETA!) and then visited a friend that has a 9 day old baby (the 3w2d overdue baby!) and everytime i picked up any of the 3 babies I visited with yesterday I heard "and now you have 3 babies!" i thought it was funny - how it was all "just as original" ah!HA! :)

It's weird to hold a tiny baby with a big belly! i have a photo of me and my new niece (the 48hr old one) and i look SOOOOOOO pregnant - i might share a photo later...)

For a day me and 4 of my close friends were all pregnant at the same time. I saw 3 of those 4 babies yesterday!

I have to say it was nice to visit with them and feel at peace with being pregnant. I feel like the pain of infertility is further from my mind right now - not RAW like it used to be. I don't want to cry when i see a baby - i just wish my pregnancy could almost be over. I always cringe when I say that - because I don't want early babies - I just wish it was already the end of October!! I know the pain is far from being gone - i actually don't think it'll ever leave me - but worse is that I know that I will go through MANY more ups and downs before i can even try to really put it behind me (we want more kids!) I guess the best way to put it is that it's kind of dull pain at the moment - if that makes sense. Like a constant ache - but not severe pain anymore.


19w pregnant and I get to see the monkeys again on Friday! Can't wait!! My energy level is still "ok"... I'm really enjoying this burst... I'm enjoying conversing with adults and not feeling completly brain dead...