Tuesday, August 08, 2006

26 weeks.

and FINALLY the heat has broken. It's calling for NICE summer weather all week now instead of torture weather. I think perhaps i was wrong: maybe mother nature wasn't trying to kill me after well.

About my last post and my SIL - I should add that I REALLY don't care if she's there either way - the issue i have is her attitude that OF COURSE she'll be there. If in fact it means so much to her - then she should stay - that's the weird part. but enough about that.

I've been logging all my contractions/cramps - and i'm happy to say that i've had fewer since my dr. took me out of work than i had before that - so that's good. That means i'm doing someting right. Everytime i do a little more, my body tells me to slow down.

I found out on the week-end that one of my cousins is pregnant. My HONEST reaction was HAPPY. I was SO happy to hear... her and her dh will make wonderful parents. She's a year younger than I am and for a few months now had been "letting whatever happens happen"... AND THEN i thought "lucky bastards". but that was short lived - I am truly happy for them. For the FIRST TIME in THREE years I felt HAPPY that somebody in my circle was pregnant. As much as the IF pain is still SOOOOOOOOOO fresh and so very real - I realized that at least I had managed to seperate it from my every single thought. I can now have IF-free moments - and it SERIOUSLY surprised me. BUT - they're just moments still - i'm far far far from being free.

On the subject of IF... I read a reply to somebody's post that said that somebody she knows was telling people she got pregnant naturally even though she needed the help of Clomid. I've only been asked once if our twins were natural conception or not - and since it was via email i just never replied. BUT if somebody asks me straight out - I would say natural i think. NOT because I need to hide the fact that we did IVF - but frankly because it's NOBODY's business. I often wonder about how i'd answer if it came up. I'd personally want to YELL and SCREAM and run away. 99% of the time I get asked if twins run on my side or his side. I typically try to educate people and say "i have id twins on my side, but those don't count - since those happen to be an amazing fluke of nature. besides, if there were 10 sets of twins on my dh's side it wouldn't matter either because it has to be on MY side... and way more often than not it's completely not linked to genetics." Well - depends on how much i care about the person - cause i might just say "neither" to leave the conversation !! My dh said he's asked ALL the time too so he just says "her side" cause i do have twins on my side! ha!HA! Anyways - answering "doesn't matter - these are due to IVF" just doesn't seem right... then again - my blurb about twins makes me feel like i'm lying anyways - cause it wasn't natural. I swear - being asked which is basically ALL THE TIME - brings up the IF scar every single time.

On a more positive note - i'm 4/7th of the way done my baby blanket #1 - it looks great!!! can't wait to wrap a baby in it!! Although I have to say up until last night I thought I was done at 5 rows of square which would mean it's soon over - and then i realized it calls for SEVEN rows of squares... I could stop at 5 - but it would be square?! I'll keep knitting!!

26 weeks pregnant - and today the babies are kicking a little more - thank goodness!


Blogger Emmie said...

I agree with you--if I am lucky enough to have twins I will say it was natural. Although so many family members know about my IF now that they probably won't have to ask. People are so rude for asking, I think. Maybe you should say,"Why do you ask that?" the next time someone questions you. It's really nobody's business. I am most concerned about the feeling of the twins. I don't know if I'd want them to know they were conceived by IVF. Twins run heavily on both sides of my family so I'm covered. Will you tell your twins the truth one day?

August 08, 2006 4:06 PM  
Blogger Beagle said...

I really don't get why it matters so much to people. Maybe just say "What an interesting question . . . " and leave it hanging there without an actual answer. Feel free to say "interesting" with some sarcasm.

August 09, 2006 11:30 AM  
Blogger Lut C. said...

I was dreaming far into a happy future once (for a change) and wondering whether I would disclose our IF in a birth announcement* that would go to family, friends and acquantances.

I don't know. On the one hand it's good to let others know they're not alone. But there are people I probably wouldn't want to tell, for all sorts of reasons. One being that I don't want to face condescending comments.

*Dreaming, remember.

August 09, 2006 3:54 PM  
Blogger Just another Jenny said...

Winnifred, I was looking for your email but I can't find it so I am going to hyjack your comments for a second.

When I read your comment on my blog yesturday about having PMS cramps during the 2ww, it gave me a little hope. I was a little crampy this morning and I don't know how many times I thought "well, Winnifred had cramps too". I am so glad you shared that with me because it kept me hanging onto hope a bit longer. Also, the cramps won't worry me so much now.

Am I thinking about multiples? For sure. We transfered three so I am a tiny bit worried but my beta is making me think twins more so than triplets (which I would love). Only 3 more weeks until I find out.

Regarding your post, I think I am going to tell people about doing IVF. Not to say that you should - that is 100% your decision and your business. I can understand not wanting to tell people. Because my husband had a vasectomy, people are going to be curious anyway. My mom is a twin so I am sure if it is multiples I will get lots of "it runs in the family".

August 09, 2006 4:57 PM  

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