Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The calm before the storm?

I have hints of symptoms -- and I think i'm turning them into bigger symptoms because I need to hold on to SOMETHING until the viability ultrasound.

My boobs hurt. lots. for real. THAT is not stretching it.

I'm kindof-maybe-sometimes-but-most-likely-not-really nauseated at times. It's TRUE i don't always feel great -- but nausea is a strong word for it.

If I make it through the night without having to pee in the night (which is most nights) I think "that's it, i'm not actually pregnant"

all of that and then I think "maybe this is what being pregnant with ONE would be like?" cause really, I think it's only one this time (mostly saying that because of my low-ish beta) and praying it's still holding on for dear life.

I have less and less cramps. Which you would think a good thing, but like I said - i'm trying to make up symptoms to reassure myself that it's true. and when there are few symptoms, it's hard to believe.

Deep down I KNOW that normal pregnancies at this point (5w3d) don't have much symptoms. I KNOW this -- but still, i'm fishing.

My scan is next tuesday -- a week from today. that seems far. It's 2 days later than it could be. Sunday they're not open and monday we're still out of town (heading out to a cottage 4 hrs away for the long week-end) so I wait until Tuesday. Hopefully for amazing news. It has to be good news.



Blogger Lut C. said...

It isn't pleasant to be scared, but it's normal given the circumstances.

Enjoy the getaway, hopeful it will keep your mind off of things.

May 18, 2010 3:22 PM  

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