Saturday, May 08, 2010

I may or may not be pregnant...

but I AM going crazy, zero doubt about that.

I decided to wait until tomorrow to test -- thinking that IF i tested negative today (12dp2dt) I would spend all day thinking I tested too early instead of coping with the results and that would drive me crazy. problem is, i can't decide which method would have driven me crazier.

I'm about 18 hours away from finding out and i'm terrified.
I can't help but think it didn't work.
I can't help but think that my actions today have an impact on the results which is CRAZY -- since I've either been pregnant now for like a week, or NOT. Implantation HAS or HAS NOT occured, but it wont happen TODAY. I couldn't help but think that if I did a HPT test today it would CHANGE the results I might get tomorrow.

YES, going CRAZY.

I'm terrified that tomorrow I find out that at 31, my dreams of having a newborn again are over.

all that makes me think I should have tested this morning, but i didn't. now I will try my best to wait until tomorrow morning. Otherwise, I'll pretend to myself the results could be affected by non morning urine. Yes, crazy indeed.


Tomorrow is Mother's Day. It's either going to be the BEST mother's day in the world -- or the absolute WORSE one. I'm praying for the best.


Blogger Roccie said...

oh, law, woman. i feel the earth spinning slower for you. hang in there. what a stupid thing for me to say, but i hope it is better than silence.

May 08, 2010 4:22 PM  
Blogger hope4joy said...

Good luck tomorrow. I hope you get the best news and have the best Mother's day possible.

May 08, 2010 11:31 PM  

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