Monday, April 27, 2009

FOUR days to go...

before the injections start. I wonder if I'll feel grounded by then - because right now, I feel like it's completely surreal. Like it's not "actually" happening to ME... um... odd.

Maybe it's because my two toddlers are keeping me busy... maybe it's because I'm sick from the Pill. Maybe it's cause it's spring time - and last time it was winter. Dormant winter... vs beautiful warm spring.

who knows really! but in four days the injections start.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Coping mechanism...

Somebody asked me a little while back what "coping mechanism" I was setting up for myself for my cycling time (somebody who has also lived IVF) and I simply said "I've cleared my calendar 100% -- and I'm keeping it that way. May and June are not being planned AT ALL. We may attend functions or do things - but not because they've been planned and we've accepted - but because last minute we decided that "it works for us right now". And it is very much helping. Granted, I have to say I'm terrified of planning july and beyond regardless - but still, it's a start.

The pill is still making me very sick. VERY. Like running to the bathroom sick. I had hoped that we had until about May 22nd to "do things around the house/yard" -- but i'm already lagging. I'm already wanting to nap. I'm already wishing this would stop -- because of this nausea. I should have planned "nothing as of the start of the pill" but I thought it wouldn't be THIS bad. I knew it would be throwing up bad - but not THIS bad. Oh well, if the garden doesn't fully get planted, we'll buy more local organic veggies that I wont be able to eat anyways because I'll be throwing up all summer. Fingers crossed. Well, actually -- this time around i've got everything crossed that I DO NOT suffer from morning sickness -- but I'm 100% ok with it if I do.

I've got a very logical brain -- and proof is a lovely thing.

On a crazy fantastic note - the province of quebec has just announced the law they're trying to have pass.... and it includes THREE free IVF cycle. FREE. THREE. SOOOOOOOOO fantastic!!! It will most likely not apply to us (seeing as we've already paid for this IVF cycle - and we're hoping with everything we've got that this is it!) but we don't care. We're both thrilled that somebody, down the line, will be able to build their families however necessary and financial burden wont be a factor. FANTASTIC news. They're hoping it's in place in a few months... fingers crossed!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

It took.... all of TWO DAYS...

well, not even since it happened ON day two.

Pill = very upset stomach for me = puking my guts out yesterday, day 2. Of course added to that is the period pain I still had (i'm better today) and... a nasty cold I started on CD1.

Nice start, no?

Tomorrow will be better. Cause goodness knows today will be just as bad if not worse.

BUT -- I will aim to stuff my face of food all day long to keep the puking at bay. fun fun. I'm going to gain 20 pounds before I even start the injections!

How BCP -- how I've missed you... NOT.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Day ONE of a LONG journey...

Today is day one. I just took my very first BCP for this long process...

When I went through IVF the first time around, it was all consuming - and it was ok. It's all I needed to do. I focused everything on the process/cycle. everything.

This time, I have two toddlers and i'm terrified of missing something important. Like a pill or a shot or something.

I'm 17 days away from my first shot. and my 30th birthday.

Spring has been very good to my soul. thank goodness. Waiting till spring was brillant.

Last week we went to get most of my drugs at the clinic. 6 hr round trip - just for drugs - because locally they told me they could get some, but not all. The week before that we went to the clinic after being assured the pharmacy was opened every day by the receptionist. Except Wednesday. We drove ALL that way - with 2 kiddos -- to find out I couldn't get the drugs. I could have -- had I driven to their "sister" location or whatever they call it -- but...... the kids would never have let us manage that. It would have been disaterous. Instead we went to the biodome and had a nice family afternoon.

Neves are setting in very very very well.

In about 7 weeks I should be sharing happy news here. Stay tuned for a crazy rollercoster ;)